


In my own way

by Deb1989



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Flash Fic, Introspection, Melancholy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 22:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deb1989/pseuds/Deb1989
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I look at Peeta smiling at Haymitch and the realization comes to me suddenly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In my own way

I look at Peeta smiling at Haymitch and the realization comes to me suddenly.  
I don't know why I wouldn't have understood before, maybe I hid the truth inside of me and I didn't want to bring it out, but Gale hadn't been wrong.  
I listened to a speech elapsed between Peeta and Gale, years before. Gale had told him that I would have chosen one who would be able to make me survive. I admit to be upset, Gale had so little regard for me, but he said he loved me, to feel something for myself.  
Now, after a long time, I realize that Gale was right.  
I chose Peeta, I married him, because he can make me survive after what happened to me.  
I look at him chatting with Haymitch and I realize that for me Peeta is like a bottle of liquor for my old mentor.  
Neither more nor less.  
A remedy to my nightmares.  
He calms me, he cuddles me, he loves me, but I chose him only because he'll make me survive. Alone, or with Gale, it's impossible.  
I convince myself that this is still a form of love, which, in my own way, I love Peeta, but I'll never love him as much as he loves me.  
I find it hard to lie, so I convince myself that I really love Peeta.  
And I love him in the same way Haymitch loves his bottle.  
For me, Peeta is crucial. I'm not using him, I am loving him in my own way. In a way sneaky and manipulative as only I know how to do.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy it. :)  
> I agree with Haymitch when he says that Katniss doesn't deserve Peeta.  
> I'm not saying that she doesn't love Peeta, because in the end I think she loves him, but she doesn't love him as much as he loves her, she doesn't love him unconditionally as he loves her.  
> I think that Katniss is a bit selfish.  
> Anyway, I love Peeta and I'm glad that in the end my ship has triumphed! :D  
> Thank you so much for reading.


End file.
